Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Neurologist Visit

Well, based on the MRI from early October, my neurologist said that he would NOT perform surgery, because it would more than likely cause more problems than it's worth.  However.  I *do* have to get a NEW MRI's done, since things can change (and there is a strong feeling that they have, since I have new symptoms and worsening pain, etc.), and then WE'LL SEE.  Ugh.

A big part of me *wants* there to be a difference on the MRI... No, not because I want to be faced with some sort of serious problem, but so that there is some sort of *actual* reasoning behind why I'm in so much pain everyday.  Over the weekend, I was lucky that we were still able to go through with our Valentine's day plans.  Thank GOODNESS for having a hanidcapped placard in the car, or else?  Yeah, Ralph would have had to drop me off at the door both at the theatre and then again at dinner before parking the car.  Yes, I was in THAT bad shape trying to friggin walk.  It took me a minimum of 20-25 steps before I could even stand up all the way.  =(

So, for now?  I'm on Vicodin & Flexeril... which from past experiences, I might as well just take Greyson's gummy bear vitamins and feel the same effect.  *sigh*  OH!  And if surgery isn't what's on the plate, then I'll be sent off to a pain management clinic... which is different than the pain REHABILITATION clinic that I spent 6 weeks worth of my time at, only to be discharged because improvement had plateaued.  Fun, fun!  At the new place, it most likely will be full of acupressure and acupuncture, pain meds, steroid injections, blah blah blah.  At this point, I have lost alot of hope, simply because I have had not ONE SINGLE DAY of being pain-free (except for while on Dilaudid and Valium for pain & spasms, which, let's face it, only the ER will dish out) since July of 2007.  Yeah, coming up on two friggin years of this hell... and I canNOT wish for Spring to get here fast enough, because the cold is BRUTAL on me.

On top of all this, Greyson didn't go to sleep until after 11:30 last night, and was up at 7:45am.  What?!?!  Ohh, it's going to me yet another day where I MAKE him take a nap, because *I* have seminar tonight, and knowing my luck, he'll be pushing ALL of Ralph's buttons while I'm in the middle of class - or he'll be trying tto go to bed before 8pm, which will just recycle the early rising and crabbbbbbbbby kid vicious cycle all over again.  *sigh*  He's already had a HORRIBLE week ALL last week, and I was SO hoping that maybe this week would be different.  So far, NO good.

I stil haven't finished the papers I have due tonight, which is NOT. GOOD.  Obviously.  So, I suppose I should be off to do just that.  YUCK.  Wish me luck!!!  =P

3 Harmonizations:

dizzy mom said...

I am so sorry that you have to live with this pain. I hope you get some relief soon.

Larissa said...

Thanks, Dizzy! *muah*

Joanie said...

Sorry to read about your pain issues. As someone who has endured 4+ years of this (two surgeries, numerous steroid epidurals, and plenty of pain meds), I understand completely. Don't give up -- never, ever. Keep badgering doctors until you get the help you need.

Da Goddess