Secret Santa... Can SUCK IT!

Okay, first off... doesn't that title just make you all warm and fuzzy inside?  Ha!!

So, Bee at Bee's Musings decided that, since this year has been OH so less-than-spectacular, and the majority of us are, well, POOR AS DIRT this holiday season, that a gift exchange of new proportions should evolve...  A "post the photos of the gifts you'd give if you actually cared had the money to do so."

Well, Jormengrund, you've been lucky enough to get yours truly as your Secret Satan Santa! Heh.

So, to start off your extravagant gifts aplenty, how about we address your affinity to, um, try and bust everyone else's balls by being just a *little* ahead of schedule with your jumping-the-gun activities...

That's right... a CALENDAR.  You know, so maybe you can remember what day it is - with the threat of, well, "Animals That Will Kill Your A$$."  Heh.

Or, if it's an abundance of freetime that's causing you to rush to completion...

You can just POP your way into submission of the actual date!!  ROFL  (I think I might want one of these myself!!  Woo!)

On a lighter note, Christmas just canNOT be complete without an appropriate tree:

Decked out with enough lights to make you require optic surgery...

And let's not forget, a special ornament to mark the year that has passed.

NOTHING sums up this past year like an octopus smothering the world in all its tentacley warmth.  Am I right??  *chuckle*

Now, we don't want to forget the wife and kids on this momentous occassion, so how about something the whole family can share?

Yum!  I know for me, there's absolutely nothing that rings in the close of the year and fills your gut *HEH!* with holiday spirit like some crunchy insectile snacks.  Hoo yeah!

So, Jormengrund...  I hope you enjoy your ridiculous heartfelt gifts...

And if not, well...

Santa never really did it for me anyways.  *LOL*