I have been... stewing in my own juices...

And therefore have been at a standstill as to what to type - what will be appropriate, and what won't piss anyone off.  The things that I feel and the things that I want, but won't cause a backlash.  So, I just sit and stew...

Anyhow, today was my follow-up after the *complete* evaluation at the pain clinic.  Gee, thanks - they gave me a diagnosis of Chronic Pain Syndrome.  Ya think?  The biggest challenge in this diagnosis is that, somewhere, there are bound to be people I come across that believe that it is a self-initiated behavior, since CPS cannot be idealized or pinpointed, and tends to not respond well to common treatments or medications.  It's also more common in individuals with depression - well, hello?  Which came first, the chicken or the egg?  I'd have to agree that my pain elevations definitely affect my moods, which then affect my sleep, which then affect my ability to heal, ad nauseam.  So... where does this leave me?

PT twice a week.  Four seesions of OT.  Weekly visits with a pain psychologist.  A new medication which will hopefully help me sleep.  An analysis of my current depression & anxiety meds tomorrow morning with a psychiatrist.  A follow-up with my general practioner to review my spinal MRI.  Over and over again, it seems, until someday, somehow, things fall into place. 

Classes are just now really getting under way, and while I am absolutely *thrilled* at the prospect of tackling this whole degree thing again, it adds a great deal more stress, as I am sure anyone can imagine.  I have taken on some at-home work, as well, which should start up within the next week to 10 days.  NEED THE MONEY, can't work outside the home - especially right now with everything else that has been scheduled into my life.  I can only hope that I get into the swing of it quickly, and can progress to making at least a *decent* income for what it is worth.  Finances are absolutely DESPERATE right now, and I'm literally in fear of having my car repossessed if something doesn't get fixed, and SOON.

Greyson has been, at least, SOMEWHAT better in the mood department, but has all but refused naps altogether.  Instead, he sleeps for 12 hours at night... but even then, bedtime is not necessarily a constant.  I don't know exactly what has done it, but actually submitting himself to sleep is a chore and something that he tries, with all his might, to delay and intervene.  Without a nap, it's *better* than when he actually does take one, simply because he's obviously more tired... but my gosh, child.  You NEED to sleep.  It's bad enough when Mommy is brainless and worn from no sleep, no need to throw yourself into the mix of that terror, too.

So, off I go onto yet another path.  A path which, unfortunately, I don't feel like I have the greatest support on, but one that I *need* to walk, for myself and for my son.  Whereas I don't expect anyone to understand fully my situation unless they have lived it, I, like anyone else, would like at least an attempt at compassion - something that I've been feeling robbed of.  Something that I have searched for and haven't truly found, even in the places that I thought I should never have to doubt.  I haven't thought my expectations to be too high, but maybe they are.  I don't even know anymore.

Things at home are... too complicated to go into.  I don't want to get backlash for speaking out and opening up not *my* personal life, but those of others in the process.  So, I unfortunately am having to bite my tongue in one of the places where I have tried to acquire an outlet.

I have class tonight, and I still need to make dinner.  I need to wrangle Greyson off the other computer to try and get him to eat, as well.  I'm looking at the next three hours with a kind of silent panic, simply because it's all coming at me much faster than I ever feel ready for - and even though I'm still alive, still in one piece afterwards, it never fails that the next time, I expect the absolute destruction.  I suppose it will take quite a bit of intensive time to undo what a lifetime has programmed.

Until next time...

My Day in Pieces

*Didn't fall asleep until after 5:30am.  Woke with alarm at 8:00.
*Called Financial Aid regarding the block on my Student Account for Kaplan.  Discovered NOTHING was missing, and the woman I spoke with had *no clue* as to why it was disabled in the first place.  DUH.
*Logged into my account to check that was fine and good, then rushed to get ready to leave for my torture pain clinic appointment.
*Left the house at 8:35am.  Luckily, missed the rain by about 5 minutes.
*Arrived at clinic at 9.  Met with psychologist Idon'trememberhisname.  Nice guy, seemed to understand WHY I am a veritable train wreck of emotion lately.  Thank GOD.
*Met with Joe the PT at 10.  Apparently, the words 'jerk,' 'twist,' and 'jolt' are against his professional religion.  He is determined to eliminate them from my vocabulary, as well.  Otherwise, understanding in my pain issues, but ultimately *confused* when it came down to realizing that my pelvis is tilted forward and also at an upward angle to the right, and the fact that my right leg has no 'give' when weight is applied, whereas it should retract slightly into the leg-hip joint... therefore, I walk like I have one leg longer than the other, because in essence, I *do* because of the non-movement on one side.  He is "concerned, and definitely needs to look into what's going on in there."  Fantastic.  Just don't hurt me in the process, k?
*Met with Colleen the OT at 10.  Nice lady.  More than likely won't require sessions with her, unless she is insistent on getting me to lift and carry over 40lbs.  Which, eh.  I don't really care about it until Grey reaches that weight and by then?  He shouldn't be wanting to be picked up and carried all too much, anyways.  But we'll see.
*Spent 45 minutes filling out the MMPI - which eventually made my hand fall off, since it consisted of 534 T/F questions and DAMN BUBBLES that I haven't had to fill in 7 YEARS.  Seriously.  I am typing this with a pencil in my mouth, pecking like a bird.  Heh.
*Tried to get a soda from the machine in the hallway.  Put in $1.00 for an $.85 soda.  Was told to fuck off and use correct change.  Was given 2 golden dollar coins AND an additional quarter back...but no soda.  I gave up, and pocketed my profit.
*Waited until 1:10pm for someone to bother to come get me for my (what I THOUGHT was) appointment with the main doctor.  Apparently, all I was seeing was the team nurse for final paperwork and bullshit I had told everyone else I saw 14,234 times that morning.  Was told they were having a "team meeting" on my special ass tomorrow afternoon.  Was given an appointment for 9:00am on Monday.  Joy.  Can I go home now?
*Left the building at 1:30pm.  After being there for 4 1/2 fucking hours.  EAHUFEHFALDBFDL!!!!  NOT a fun way to spent the morning after only 2-ish hours of sleep.
*Got Wendy's for the boy & me for lunch.  Had one of their new "dipped" chicken sandwiches.  YUM.  Satisfied. 
*Realized just...how...fucking...tired I was.  Trudged upstairs to investigate my online classrooms a bit before ACTUAL seminar at 7pm.
*Took a nap at 4:30.  Woke up at 6, not feeling much better than before.
*RUSHED through preparing dinner for Grey, while leaving Ralph to fend for himself.  I had time for NOTHING, as class was starting, oh, THEN.
*LOVED my seminar.  Teacher is a lawyer, and used to run her own firm specializing in domestic violence and assault.  She's FUUUUUUNNY!  And the online environment & set-up is pretty snazzy.  Class seems enjoyable.  Teacher already praised my level of participation & assistance with other students.  Turning into teacher's pet on the first damn day.  Ugh, here we go again.  Heh.
*Checked out my OTHER class.  HOLY shitonastick.  Prof is a retired Deputy Director for the Criminal Justice Institute in...somewhere, LOL.  But he's ALL up in the discussion boards already, and seminar isn't until MONDAY night!
*Attempted to do my first discussion board post regarding the surrendering of personal freedoms in order to facilitate the safety of the general population.  Wound up typing half a FUCKING NOVEL before realizing, uh... he only wants a minimum of 100 words, and this is NOT a term paper.  Heh.  I think my brain went into HAPPY DANCE BACK IN COLLEGE MODE and tried to pile drive a thesis into the poor discussion forum.  Cut and pasted what I had typed for possible further use, and STILL couldn't make my brain slow down.  Instead, commented back and forth TWICE with another student's submission, each of THOSE being at least 100 words.  *sigh*  I gotta try and BREATHE a little on this, I can see.  Maybe I'm just all too excited, and not quite used to the "intro-type" classes anymore, since I've already got 2 1/2 years under me.
*Spent 11pm - 12:30am TRYING to get Greyson to settle the HELL down, instead of wanting to jump on the bed, or talk incessantly about the spider under the table making a web when we went for ice cream DAYS ago, or the fact that he has all of a sudden decided that he wants to pee standing up JUST TODAY, and managed to stay dry from 6pm on DUE to this fact, and on and on and blah blah blah ears bleeding now must make him stop.
*Thought I'd pass out once his eyes were *officially* closed.  NOPE!  I'm HERE!  And I'm trying to resist the ITCHING temptation to log back into class and attempt that DAMNED discussion Q again.

Someone slip something into my drink, please.  I think a nice sedative would do the trick. ;)

You'd think God was a screwdriver...

For the way that I have been dealing with life lately.  (Did ANYONE catch that?  No?  Ah, HELL with it... I'm not trying to be witty anymore right now.  Hmph.)

I got an email timestamped at 5:33pm from Kaplan, stating that my student account was full-speed-ahead.

I *attempted* to log in at 8:17pm - UBER FAIL!  I got a message that my "Student Account has been Disabled."  Wha?

At 8:19pm, I call Technical Support, only to be told that according to them, there is a notation on my account that I am missing financial aid documents.  What are they?   They haven't a clue - just that Financial Aid closed... *19 minutes ago* and I'd have to call them in the morning.

I have completed my FAFSA, and gotten confirmation from Federal Aid.

I have signed my Master Promissory Note for student loans, and gotten confirmation from THEM.

I have ENROLLED with Kaplan for my first two courses... the first of which starts TOMORROW NIGHT @ 7.

I got my BOOKS for said course this morning.

I'm lost.  I now need to call Financial Aid at 8am BEFORE my 4 hour Pain Clinic session at 9.  Aaaaagh!

I was also attacked with guilt spoken to about the stress that the hubby is under about being the *sole provider* for the last 3 years.  Um, yeah.  I'm feeling it, too.

OF COURSE, that has been *quadrupled* since we got a letter stating that after a MONTH of waiting?  Unemployment has denied him.  Even though they told him they saw no reason to not accept him.  Hmm.  Appeal has been sent, thankyouverymuchyouevilshitheads.

So, I've been plundering through various job listings in search for SOMETHING that I could possibly accomplish while sitting on my ass still remaining at home and caring for my son & my own medical conditions.

Did you know that I can be a Greeting Card Writer?  Honest.  I am a published poet, so now I get to plunge through my YEARS' worth of poetry and then maybe try writing some more.  Hey - it's worth $300 a pop if they are selected. =)

I've also applied for a couple medical transcription jobs, since hey!  I did that when I worked at a podiatry office (feet - ewwww!), even mid-surgical assistance.  Yes, I am that good.  Hah.

So, we'll see.  It seems that's all there IS around here lately - a whole shitload of "we'll see."  It's what I have to tell Greyson every time he asks for a new toy he sees on television, or whether or not we can go someplace that, no doubt, costs money.  Hell, it's what I have to mentally tell myself every time I look at a bill that comes in the mail.  "Will this get paid?  Hmm, we'll see."  "Will they repo my car?  Hmm, we'll see."  "Will we be living off Ramen noodles and Kool-Aid soon?  Hmm, we'll see."

Meanwhile, I have *SO* much to look forward to in the morning, you know, with all the veritable poking and prodding that awaits me while I see not one, not two, but a battery of *6* specialists in the morning, to try and evalute my condition(s) and 'see what they can do for me.'  Ha!  I'd like to see what they can do for me, too - but don't expect me to not bring my worthless pain medication with me!  Take THAT, herniated disks and fibromyalgia!!

Who am *I* kidding?  It's 3:30am and I have to leave at 8:30... I'm screwed.  And it's NOT the nice kind, either.

Hope your Wednesday is better than mine is projecting to be!

Will Someone Find the Off Switch?

Greyson has been a whirlwind of terror for the last few days... well, more like the last week.  Especially when it comes to interactions between himself and *me*, specifically.  Everything has to become an argument, even if I suggest something that he himself brought up mere seconds ago, asking him not to do something either results in him stamping his feet and giving a resounding shriek of unfounded rage or agreeing - simply to return to the unwanted behavior IMMEDIATELY.

I was finally reduced to tears today, by the simple stubbornness and complete BRAT-like behavior that has overtaken my typically easy-going, lovable child.  He's discovered a new amplitude to his voice, as well - one that breaks the sound barrier at record speeds, most likely throwing off the flight of birds outside our home and sending the little forest creatures behind the house running in sheer terror.  Because, honestly?  That's what it makes *me* want to do.

I have tried being patient.  I have tried to accept that, hey!  He's almost three!  He's just pushing his limits and seeing just what he can get away with while struggling for independence.  He's way above norm on his verbal skills, as well as just general comprehension (we have now determined that he can honestly READ 25+ words, and those are only the ones I could RECALL to write down and test him on), and I'm sure that his brain is battling the limits of his still-small body.  But, OH. MY. GOD.  I desperately need to find the power button on his attitude.  Or at least a friggin' volume knob.

He hasn't taken a nap for at LEAST the past week, either... he would rather fill that time, when I am trying to comfort him into resting for a while, into moments of telling me not to touch him, look at him, speak to him, or tell him to do *anything*, and also has resulted to him telling me such things like, "How many times do I have to tell you to leave me alone?" and "I'm tired if listening to you.  Go talk to Daddy instead."  I've nearly lost my ENTIRE reserve of patience for this normally complacent child.

Like last night!  When we decided that he actually HAD done decently at dinner (I figured 1/4 of a filet mignon, 1/2 a small baked potato, and 1/2 of a small salad was GOOD for him), we'd venture out for ice cream on what could be one of the last "nice" nights to sit outside the local place and enjoy it.  And he wasan ANGEL.  We arrived, and he went right up to the counter and tried to get the counter-girl's attention with, "Hi!  I want a vanilla ice cream cone, PLEASE," - which of course attracted the attention of this 32lb, 3'3" munchkin speaking so clearly what he wanted with perfect grammar and diction.  And so began a cute conversation with a man that was waiting for his order, all about how he was "still only two, but in November, he will be three!" and a gracious "Thank you!" when the man joked that since he asked so nicely, HE would even give up his OWN ice cream to Grey.  He continued to chat about the pumpkins and witches and ghosts decorating the place for Halloween, and how he was going to be Jack Sparrow, because he likes Pirates of the Carribean, and on... and on... all with a pleasant little dimpled grin on his face.

And then!?!  He sat perfectly still while eating his cone (Pumpkin ice cream - YUM!), got up to throw away his napkin after wiping his OWN hands and face, and returned to the table with a simple, "I will sit here until the two of you finish YOUR ice cream, too, okay?"

Wha huh?  Just a mere hour or so before, I was struggling to get him to even keep his butt on his chair while eating his OWN dinner, and here he was offering to sit still while WE finished?

Again, we were struck by "Public Behavior Syndrome," which Greyson has had since he was BORN.  The child, honestly, has NEVER once acted up in public... even as an infant, he just kinda... hung out.  Restaurant?  He'd either be silent or simply baby-chatty.  Grocery store?  He makes requests, but there are no tantrums involved when it comes to me making the final decision.  Target?  It took us almost an entire YEAR to convince him that when we were there to actually purchase things FOR HIM, that it was okay for him to keep more than one item, instead of mentally weighing out which he wanted more, and trying to give the less-desired item BACK to be restored to the shelf or rack.  Honestly, most people, when I try to explain to them the sheer HORRORS that he can unleash on me behind closed doors... they look at me as I am slowly turning into the Blueberry Girl from Willy Wonka - something created by my own demands and selfishness.

*Am* I selfish for wanting my son to behave at home as well (or at least even HALF as well) as he does while parading in the eyes of the public?  I personally wouldn't think so, but here I am, stuck with a raving lunatic of a child, only made worse by his absolute refusal to take a nap until *he* requests one... at dinnertime, which is an OBVIOUS no-go... unless I want to deal with him being wired until 2am or later before he falls asleep for the night.

In his defense, I know that there has been *something* going on with him as of late.  He is experiencing some apparent tooth discomfort, which hopefully, can get looked at and taken care of by week's end.  Also, after a handful of days of very-random, off and on low-grade fevers (which honestly, have had NO other symptoms to tie into them), tonight before bed he was HOT.  Until now, I couldn't honestly interpret whether it was even a technical *fever* for him, simply because, since birth, he has run warm.  His normal temp honestly lies around 99.2 or so, and I really don't go running for the thermometer unless I KNOW he is hot enough to be an actual fever... which wasn't until today.  When it read 101 and some tenths.  And then I felt bad... a little.  I just still couldn't bring myself to allow that number to explain an entire week's worth of somewhat SELECTIVE rebellion against me more than anyone else in the household.  But you're damn right I will be on the phone in the morning trying to get him in to see the doctor... because as he was falling asleep, he, for the first time EVER, was playing with his right ears a bit.

I almost wish that he had actually HAD a known ear infection before now (if it is indeed what this is), because I don't know what to look for *in him*.  I have seen children go until the eardrum has ruptured without one word about pain in their ears, and it is simply stumbled upon at a routine visit.  And then I've seen those who SCREAM at the merest hint of fluid behind the eardrum.  I even cleaned his ears last night, and not once did he mention discomfort of any sort.  So, well... huh.  We'll see... I wish he had done the ear thing BEFORE falling asleep, so I could have pulled out the otoscope and taken a look.  (YES, we actually DO have one in the house, along with a stethoscope, an pulseoximeter, and numerous blood pressure cuffs... all of which I, luckily, know how to use correctly!) (No, they aren't the result of hypochondria... just a father who was in nursing for umpteen years and my ever-present knowledge seeking in the field, so THERE.)

So, here's to hoping *something* is discovered at the doctor tomorrow - IF we can get in tomorrow.  Otherwise Wednesday is going to be filled with personal self-destruction as I have to spend 9am-1pm at the pain clinic, then HIS doctor's visit, followed by my first Criminal Justice BA seminar that night.  I'm wiped out just THINKING about it all!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
On a lighter (stranger?) note, Grey informed me today when coming across the (TOTALY EMPTY) BB gun tucked behind a dresser in the computer room that it was "for killing scary people when they come in the house."  Huh?  The child's brain works on overload, and I am ETERNALLY glad that the *real* guns in the house (also unloaded) are safely tucked away in my parents' room.  Of course, it brings a future note to myself to my attention that when I am done with this degree and wind up with a police-issued firearm??  OH, the education I will have to DRILL into his head.  Much like what my own father did with me, actually at the age Grey is NOW, because (I know, I know) there have ALWAYS been rifles in my home... and I, to this very day, have never laid a hand on them, and never would, except in a case of dire emergency.  I do not fear handling a gun, however - no matter my father's condition, those are HIS... and *still* not mine to ever touch.

Greyson also declared his love for pickled okra...stems.  He is showing more and more of the same "texture issues" I have with food as time passes.  Once he hit the seeds inside, the okra was a no-go... just as applesauce makes him gag, as well as the inside of a tomato (though the "meaty" part is all fine and good).  It's amazing the odd things that apparently ARE passed down genetically...  too bad he didn't get my abhorrance for anything grape-flavored.  Kid loves him some grape juice.  Heh.

Now that I have scrambled YOUR brain almost to the consistency of MINE... I'm going to do some blog-stalking and see if I can make anyone laugh in spite of the spiraling day *I* had!

Good night, and remember... Halloween is only 17 days, 1 hour, and 30 minutes away!  =P

Dentists & Doctors

Dear New Dentist to Which I Will Be Making an Appointment With for Grey:
     After a few days of his obsessing over the fact that his two top front teeth hurt (and yet, NOT the *one* molar with the actual cavity I have spotted), I have convinced him that the dentist is his friend, one to make his teeth feel better, even if it gets rather loud in the office because of the 'cool tools' needed to help his teeth feel better.
     I'd like to request that you A) do NOT attempt to get ME to sit in the chair and allow you to poke and prod inside MY mouth, as my dental issues are an ENTIRELY different story, B) that somehow you make yourself NOT remind him of a police officer, as he is somehow a bit skeeved about them lately, and C) never mention the word "sleep" if sedation is needed, because I will *guarantee* a 2-year-old rebellion even against the most powerful of drugs, simply because he has the willpower of a Tibetan MONK when it comes to staying awake.  Thanks.  Also, since he has become enamored with the optometrist since I received my new glasses, could you maybe fish out a nifty pair of sunglasses or something from your (hopefully present) 'treasure chest?'  Faboo.

And to the Doctor, Whom Grey Needs to See For a Possible Ear Infection & his Upcoming Three-Year Exam:
     His last ped was fantastic.  At this point in time, if you make a comment regarding his age, height, or weight, he WILL give you a dissertation regarding how far away his birthday is, how tall he is, and how much of a *big boy* he is.  DO NOT say the word 'baby' in his presence, or else he will begin to insist that he wants ME to have one, and how he is no longer one.  Just to summarize:  HE WILL TALK YOUR EAR OFF, and has quite a bit of medical knowledge, as one of his favorite pasttimes is to observe the sessions when Papa's nurse comes to work with him... including the trach change.  So, for your own benefit... you may want to seek out some earplugs.  Unless you are ready for preschool help in writing your next medical article.

Sincerely yours,
     The Mother of a Preschool KNOW-IT-ALL

AHAHAHA!

72%LUSH

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Site

MRIs & Why I Am HAPPY That Silver is NOT Magnetic

So, I went for a lumbar spine MRI today, with a 'qualifying' diagnosis of radiulopathy.  Anyhow... besides staring at a BIG gray surface a mere INCH from the tip of my nose (that is, when I wasn't closing my eyes and picking out cool bass riffs from the near-deafening THUNK-THUNK-THUNK of the machine and doing four-counts in my head) and having to lie, PERFECTLY STILL for 45 minutes - on what may as well been a slab of plywood as far as comfort was concerned...  I came out swimmingly.  Well, after I spent a good few minutes (with ASSISTANCE!) getting my broken self up off said contraption.

Until I came home and saw my films.

*insert expletives here*

Can I just say that while I am *seriously* intrigued to read the official report on the interpretations of my MRI... what both my dad (who himself has had, oh say, 10+ MRI's on his spine & 35 years of medical experience) and I saw... is NOT pretty.

There are at LEAST 2 separate levels where my pinal cord is NOT round... it's smooshed.  Like a tic-tac.  From the wonders that is called a MASSIVELY herniated disk.  Times 2.  Or more.

One level is bad enough that it is visible not only from the slices taken head-to-toe... but also from a SIDE view.  NOT good.  So not feeling optimistic here.

BUT!  There is true acknowledgement for why my back is DYING!  And my right leg sometimes wants to commit hari-kari!  HOO...ray... okay, maybe not so much hooray.

However, there actually is a bit of a funny here.

I walked in that office, prepared as could be, wearing yoga pants and a bra-tank, topped off with a t-shirt.  See!  No metal in my clothing!  NO gown for meeeee!  I didn't even wear my rings, so all I would have to stick in the locker were my earrings and my sunglasses... and my body, it would be metal-free.

Except in all of my WONDEROUSLY thorough glory... I forgot to take out my cartilage hoops.  And didn't realize it until, oh... 3 hours or so AFTER my appointment was over.  Yep.  REALLY grateful that sterling silver is NOT, I repeat NOT magnetic.  Heh.  Or else I'd have some hefty bleeding coming from my upper ears from the piercings being RIPPED out by the sheer magnetic force of the machine.  Yum.  Sounds like fun to me!

Of course, now I am left with the problem of HEY!  The Lyrica seems to be helping at least a little bit!  So congrats to Big Pharma for that and the competent doctor who prescribed it... AND sent me for an MRI.  BUT... (and there's ALWAYS a damned but, isn't there?  *sigh*) I obviously have greater issues going on that honestly, after about 18 months of pain from the initial injury?  Isn't likely to resolve on its own.

Which means spinal surgery.  I can't even PRETEND to try and wrap my brain around THAT one just yet, what with everything else that's been spinning around me at full force lately.  And C'MON!  I'm starting COLLEGE again on Wednesday!!  This is SUPPOSED to be a time of progress...  right?

Crap.

On a much more humorous note, here's a little something that Greyson pulled on us today.  There we were, eating dinner... and he pipes up with, "Mommy, you need to go get a pizza from Pizza Hut and put it in the freezer, so if I get hungry before bed, I can eat a piece."

Whaaaa?  The child is TWO.  I don't even WANT to think about what he will be saying by the time he hits those Kindergarten doors.


Though he DID report to us, once again, that he is going to be a doctor when he grows up.  He's been saying that since right around his 2nd birthday.  I'm sensing a bit of determination here.  Heh.  Of course, there ARE times where he wants to be a ROCKSTAR doctor... which I haven't *quite* figured out if that means he wants to be BOTH a rockstar AND a doctor, or if he plans to cater to the rockstar genre.  Hell, maybe he'll even tour with a few bands as their personal physician.  ROFL

Maybe he'll just grow up and be able to help fix his Mommy.  That's always a nice thought, don't you think?

Braaaaaaaains!

So WHAT if I'm having fun with the fact that Halloween is in 21 days and 23 hours???

Financial Crisis Humor?

I'd like to link to one of my blogroll's current posts over at Mattress Police. In the midst of the absolute financial crisis we are all going through (as Ralph was told today by unemployment, there are at a *literal* record number of unemplyed citizens in Lake County as of this point), I thought we could all use a little bit of laughter to maybe lighten the load a bit.

So, I bring you:

Mattress Police - Antisocial Commentary

Laugh it up!

Speculums, Cheerleaders, and Singing Homeless, OH MY!

First off, let me just state that there are VERY few occassions where I am *unhappy* to be a woman - today being one of them. There's nothing like being invaded and stretched more than you should EVER be unless birthing a child by a foreign plastic (thank GOD, no longer frozen metal) object and having a small piece of you removed by something that rivals the sound of a small firecracker in your nether regions. *shiver*

I almost thought that I was in the wrong office, or that I had somehow made *that* kind of appointment at a doctor other than the one I needed. The waiting room was FILLED with children between the ages of 3 & 5, most crying &/or screaming in defense of having their skin barraged by needles. Hmm.

There was a particular little girl who was toting around an extremely nappy-headed blonde cheerleader "baby" that repeatedly sang a snippet of "Wiggle It, Just a Little Bit" everytime her foot was pressed. Oh, and the other foot provided the classic, "We're #1, we can't be #2, 'cuz we're gonna beat the WHOOPSIE outta you."

Yeah. The doll owner was three. Mom didn't seem overly concerned with the, um, shall we say, NON-preschoolish undertones coming out of said doll. Eek.

Meanwhile, there was a little boy SCREAMING like someone was sawing off his limns in one of the back rooms. Apparently, he was only there for a preschool check-up. No shots, even. Hmm, AGAIN.

THAT being said, what a FRIGGIN' day to be without my camera! (NO, not for my VISIT, ya nasties! heh.) For the drive home.

While sitting at a stoplight, I noticed a very-randomly-toothless man skip out of the gas station on the corner, dressed in what could be passed off as someone's work clothes after a day at the local Jiffy Lube. He proceeded to the sidewalk, and began to twirl and two-step, all while singing something that I now wish I had turned down my radio to hear... all to his miniature bottle of booze. Yep. He was serenading the 3oz. bottle of what looked to be Seagram's. (Don't look at me just because I HAPPEN to have a general idea of what particular liquor bottles look like! This story is about HIM, not me. Heh.) I think it took me half of the rest of my trip home to catch my breath from laughing so hard... had to be the most amusing thing OUTSIDE of things my own son does that I have seen in a LONG time. =P

All that being said, I'm hoping that the fact I was put BACK on my treasured Seasonique will stop the monthly follicular cysts that I have been getting about 2 weeks before the dreaded visit each month. Oh, and the debilitating cramps. Because, seriously? They have been rivaling the CONTRACTIONS from having Greyson. Uh-huh. So. Not. Cool.

Otherwise, a decent day - happy with the doc I saw, not SO happy with some of the results of the visit, but nothing permanent, nothing serious. ACTUALLY got Grey to take a nap today, even if it WAS half the usual duration.

Of course, now that I have added 2 MORE prescriptions to my daily load, Ralph *literally* asked me if I was starting a collection as I fished all the bottles out of my purse, thinking that I had just *not* thrown away bottles that had recently become empty. Heh. Nope, these are ALL the things I take at LEAST once daily. The look on his face was PRICELESS. I outnumber him 3-to-1 on his prescriptions... and he's diabetic. Heh. How's THAT for using our insurance to it's full capacity?!?

Surround

Tiptoe into what I hold dear


Whisper desires and dreams unto me


Grant me the wishes I had so journeyed for


Keep me from falling again


Picture me without these tears


Without all of these extra years


Aging in my heart


Speak to me with careful words


The ones I would die to view


Breaking down beneath this shroud


Keeping a smile built of these cries


Cry another tear just to watch it die


Teach me lessons I have lost count of


Show me that destiny does not sign off all


Pray for me


That I may move on


Or lose me in this wretched fog

Larissa Anne

Legalities... and Bastard Employers

My mother was informed today that she has until the end of this month to either resign or go on disability through the retirement system.

I'm not going to lay out all the grisly details, but the basis of it is that, starting back mid-schoolyear LAST year already, she was pinpointed and punished, after 30+ years of teaching AND supervisory positions with the SAME SCHOOL DISTRICT, for grossly unfounded accusations, loosely based on her physical limitations due to 3 summers of consecutive foot reconstruction and also the stressors of having a newly cross-categorical special education classroom with a FULL range of students from ADD to BD to TMH rolled into one.

Oh, and the fact that she "called out" the principal on the fact that there were violations of certain guidelines in the contracts for certain employees.

So, fast forward to THIS school year, a NEW building and teacher (since last year's debacle made it OUT of the question to remain in the same position)... and *THAT* principal takes it upon herself to address my mom with the statement, "This isn't going to work" - 3.5 days into the year!!! 

And then... sent her home with paid suspension pending full-scale evalutions.  The same road she traveled not too long before.  The same people, the same procedures, all with the same results... she is MENTALLY fit to perform her duties with simple adjustments for her physical heath.  Should be an easy fix, right?

BIG. FAT. WRONG.  She was bombarded today with snippets of supposed quotations from the evaluations in a report that the asshole "Big Man in Charge" never even let her see.  In fact, she came home with NO DOCUMENTATION whatsoever - including the initial explanation as to WHY this occurred in the first place.  Didn't get it at the start, still doesn't have it.

She has been harassed for almost the entire last calendar year now.  She not only has her teaching certificate, but her Master's.  She spent years as a coordinator for a LARGE load of children & programs in this same district.  In fact, she has worked for them since she graduated college - at age *20*.

We *all* have history with this district... and have ALL experienced degrees of discrimination during employment.  My dad worked in the district - until his job was "eliminated" while he fought with his most recent spinal fusion (his second one, mind you), and wound up having to fight the big fight for Federal Disability.  I have ALSO worked for the district in a number of positions, from Peer Mentor to substitute paraprofessional, to Computer Lab Aide.  Mostly, I got my ass kissed to some degree, because as a coordinator, my mom was NOT one to be crossed, and apparently that was felt all OVER the place.

Of course, now that she is only a few years from retirement, and back to teaching - but still entitled to pay on a scale of having a graduate degree AND so much time vested in the same employer - they have apparently chosen HER as their latest and greatest victim.

Let's see... no documentation that she has seen NOR possesed, an odd change of "convenient" wording that differs between what was told HER during evals and what The Powers That Be report, and now a forced resignation.  Hmm.  Sounds like our legal status has just been bumped up a notch from *possible* case to *You Bet Your Sorry Ass You'll Be Hearing From Our Lawyer*.

In the meantime, good thoughts are needed.  As you know (if you read here frequently), there are 6 bodies in this house... with one disability income, my mom's now teetering income, and a yet-to-be seen unemployment income.  We are NOT in good times.  Not. At. All.

Also, if you happen to have any *fantabulous* law advice, it would be MUCH appreciated... as with all the 'wrongful termination' and 'ADA discrimination' info out there, it's a bit hard to digest, especially while dealing with the raw wound of it all...

Thanks.

Cocktails

A brief version of my visit to the new doctor on Monday:

*MRI referral
*A new cocktail of Lyrica, Robaxin, and Vicodin to add to the Effexor XR and Xanax
*A referral to a NEW psychiatrist in order to adjust / change my Effexor & Xanax prescriptions since they seem to be failing me

The doctor was understanding.  She actually acted like she GAVE a damn.  Which, compared to my LAST GP?  Wow... she should be given a medal.

I'm technically at the end of Day One with the new medications, so I can't say much on their effectiveness.  However, it seems like SOMETHING (most likely the Lyrica) has lessened the pain that shoots down my right leg about 99% of the time.  So, STILL keeping my fingers crossed.

Of course, Lyrica IS a fibromyalgia drug, so if it DOES work?  It's a little bit bigger of a nudge in the way of that diagnosis suspicion.

All in all, I'm pleased with the doc.  I have to see her again once I manage to get this damn MRI scheduled to evaluate exactly what is going on with my lumbar spine and assess what, if anything, can be done.

Another set of tracks has been added to this medical rollercoaster...

Another Site to Leave You in Stitches!

If you're in dire need of a laugh, click on over to
http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/ - GUARANTEED to bring a smile to your face... and maybe even a bit of *bravo* to some of the people who actually WROTE these things!

You gotta admit, some of them took some cajones... Heh.

Anxious...

And not the good kind, either.

I have about an hour before I head out the door to my *newest* doctor's appointment - to try and replace the last GP I visited, the one that never even looked me in the eye, examined my back, asked me about the 'quality' of pain; NOTHING.  Other than refusal to treat me with anything beyond Ibuprofen.  Nice.

Obviously, pretty much ANYTHING will be better than seeing him again.  But in my current state, I am always left with a least a *touch* of anxiety over whether or not the good doctor will take me seriously, or even do their job in being thorough and actually treating me to the best of their ability.

As it stands, I have been without any form of pain management for almost a month now, beyond that Ibuprofen (that might as well be a Flintstones vitamin), and I *still* don't know what or when I will be getting treatment-wise from the pain clinic, as my full-scale evaluation isn't for another week and a half.  After that comes a full-team conference, and THEN, treatment begins.  So we may be looking at November.

I can't go solo until November.  Not if I want to be a fully-functioning Mommy.  *sigh*

So, a new doctor will be seeing me - with previous prescriptions in hand to prove that yes, I have INDEED been given these medications and that I am not on a farfetched trip to try and gain something I don't medically need.  At this point, with all that I have been treated with, I cannot even think of a single medication that would prove to be what some out there seek to 'get high.'  I haven't even been made SLEEPY by anything I have ben prescribed, so beyond that?  I can't even imagine what it would take.  Then again, I also can't imagine WANTING to be placed in that physical and mental state... Anyhow...

I'm hoping to come home pleasantly surprised.  I'm hoping to come home with some form of support to at least get me through to my *alternative treatments* from the pain clinic.

I'm hoping to come home with some semblance of normalcy.

Here's to hope!

Offended

While intended to inspire... this actually offended me more than anything.

It focuses only on women... and then narrows the focus down to YOUNG women... and then in so many words lays the blame for the economy and the entirety of our country going to hell in a handbasket.

Now, I am NOT political.  Not in even the smallest sense of the word.  But this?  This pushed me a bit off the deep end.  Sure, maybe there are some that will set a reminder to run out and vote in November to "take back our country," but honestly?  It makes me laugh at the sheer thought that trying to make the downfall of the wars, the financial crisis, the high unemployment rates, rest on the shoulders of today's American women?  Where do they honesstly come off?  And *my* vote is going to fix that?!?  Really.  If someone could show me proof of little ol' me making THAT big of an impact on the rest of the country, then by all means!  I will parade into that voting booth with pride.

Until then, however, I sit and shake my head at the shambles that has become the "Land of the Free."  And how the people who mastered this video apparently feel that bullying is the best way to make a difference in the way we feel about our country.

Educational Re-entry

It was actually a completely painless process, me *actually* completing my FAFSA, getting my approvals, and officially enrolling in the Criminal Justice Bachelor's Program for Crime Scene Investigation with Kaplan College.

Did you hear me?  I'm FINALLY going back to school, and finishing that damn degree of mine - the degree that I *should* have had 6 years ago had it not been for some very unfortunate decisions on my part and some bullying on a personal level by whom I was in a relationship with at the time.  But!  I'm IN, I'm starting October 15th, and get to pick my first classes a week from today!!!!

As daunting as the concept of starting back up again has been - as I have tossed it back and forth essentially since Grey was born - I finally made that final step... and I'm actually EXCITED by the prospect of being a college student again.  The fact that I changed my major from its original Music/Psychology focus doesn't even really phase me...  I'd long since decided that THIS, being a forensic investigator, was something I could TRULY LOVE doing... and now I'll be able to.  I should even be able to walk into a rather spiffy position at LEAST by the time Greyson is enrolled in Kindergarten. =)

The books, the papers, everything - it all has this refreshing feel to it, the fact that I will be doing something to better MYSELF, and the fact that it will also make life better for my child(ren?) once I finish what I am finally starting up again.

I can't wait to speak with my advisor again next Friday... to get the books for my classes over the next few days following... 

If only school had been this exciting for me BEFORE... maybe I wouldn't have caved so easily when the choice to continue or bend to the whims of someone ELSE'S demands came before me.

At least now, I can have something entirely of my own doing to be proud of - besides my son, of course.  =)

CSI

Yep, that title may just be MINE a lot sooner than I expected!!

I decided to look into a few more schools today as I dealt with a RAGING migraine that rendered it impossible to do much more than still as still as I humanly could. I filled out an online form for more info from Kaplan, and *literally* 30 seconds later - the phone rang.

The man I spoke with was INCREDIBLY nice, very understanding and observant, and actually made a complete effort to relate to me on a personal level. He's actually going to review my FAFSA application TOMORROW already, and give me a call back tomorrow evening.

The estimate for time needed to obtain my Forensic Crime Scene Investigation Bachelor's Degree? 2 to 2 1/2 years. FABULOUS! Especially since I can complete EVERYTHING from home, even at 3 in the morning if I happen to not be sleeping well (like usual!). So far, it sounds like it's going to be a go - especially since their tuition includes any and all books and software needed for each class, and I'll have full access to the University of Alabama's online library - and the option for them to mail me any book from the library, free shipping, if I feel the need to have it actually IN my possession, as long as I pay the return shipping. GLADLY... works for me.

So, here's where I stand. I can start either October 15th (for $17 off each credit hour cost) or on November 5th. (Or even later, if necessary.) I will definitely be getting a GOOD chunk of financial aid, and actually qualify as a *special circumstance* due to the loss of Ralph's income - which, of course, means more financial support for the goverment for schooling. And, IF there is anything left over that FA won't cover, then I can get a federal loan that doesn't have to be paid back until up to 3 years after graduation, and can be spread out over 20-30 years, even. SO. I'm actually feeling a bit optimistic about the whole thing!

Besides, I figured that if I keep that pace to finish in less than 3 years... I should have my degree in hand by the time Greyson starts *official* school... and then I can run off and play Grissom. Heh.

So, tonight I tackle the FAFSA... and tomorrow? Get it all discussed with me and just what the next course of action will be! *sigh* Let's hope that this entire plan DOESN'T fall the way of MOST things I try and plan for!! I need a *little* something good and productive going on around here. ;)

Word To Your...

If you are in need of some SERIOUSLY off-the-wall humor, check out Word To Your..., a downright *hilarious* photo blog!

I honestly laughed the ENTIRE time, and went all the way through the archives...  I'm amazed that I can still BREATHE after all the laughing I did!

Seriously - with the absolutely bizarre photos here, there's no way that you won't be entertained.  =)

By Sheer Co-inky-dink...

Heh. There I go, being an avid fan of a fellow blogger, and I get roped into yet ANOTHER meme. *sigh*

Seeing as though the little man has decided that 11:30pm is still a suitable time to still be functioning... ugh... I suppose I will follow through! So, here I go with the list of *5 Things About Me* ala meme-style.

1. Where were you 10 years ago? Eek. I was a senior in high school, having to attend my final year (actually, only one semester) because of a rotten gym cresit that I could not get waived. Grr. So my schedule was *2* gym classes first thing in the morning, German, Choir, & Speech. Followed by a lunchtime pick-up by the boyfriend to go volunteer my afternoons in a BD classroom. Sounds like JOYOUS fun, doesn't it??

2. What is on today's To Do List? Considering that it's approaching midnight, all I have left to do today is get the Munchkin to sleep and try and catch some zzz's myself. But, of course, that will probably roll over into *tomorrow* technically, anyways. Heh.

3. Name 5 places you have lived: 1. In an apartment on Sunset Ave. until I was two. 2. We bought the house that my parents (and me, now, AGAIN) live in April, 1983. 3. At 21, I got my first apartment (with the EX from hell once the move had commenced) in Gurnee, IL. That apartment was pretty snazzy - 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and a friggin' walk-in closet in the master suite. No surprise that the complex has now been turned into CONDOS. 4. After that, we (me & the EX) moved to Woodridge to be closer to HIS job and HIS family. Of course, that left me driving 2 hours each way for work for an entire month while I waited for a position to open at the branch of the school I taught at... ACROSS THE STREET. 5. After wanting to throw the EX in front of a speeding semi, I moved out before our lease was up... and eventually wound up in Burbank, IL, living with my now-hubby. On the south side of Chicago. Far, FAR removed from the quiet little residential neighborhoods I was used to, and right into an apartment on the MAIN street that divided Burbank from Oak Lawn. With traffic 24/7. Eek.

4. Name 3 of your bad habits: 1. Smoking. Still. I just can't find the drive to quit at this point. *sigh* 2. Twisting my hair when tired. I know, not that BAD, per say, but it can get a bit annoying. Heh. 3. Not having the determination to 'push through the pain' and really get OUT there to do things on a bad day. I know that, in the long run, the more I do will most likely help me out -but DAMN. When it takes a good 10 minutes to stand up from getting out of bed?? Eh. Just not that motivated to go for a long walk, ya know??

5. What are your favorite snacks? Salt and Vinegar Vitners, Jelly Bellys, and Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. Yum. Though in all honesty, I can't hack too much of any of them at one time...

And now, for the tag... YOU! Hahahahaha... okay, no really. Do it if you need blog fodder... otherwise, just laugh in the presence of my own boring mind. =P

A Busy Day...

So, we had EVERY intention of going to the Shedd Aquarium today - until I decided to call and *make sure* that it was, indeed, a Community Discount Day like it was listed as at the end of August when I took note of all the September days... and of course, it WASN'T.  Ugh.

Being as though Ralph is STILL at home with us - $18 a head is NOT too feasible for admission when you add the cost of gas and CHICAGO PARKING FEES to the grand total!  Double UGH.

We decided to go to Lamb's Farm, and wander around the farmyard for a while.  At the very least, Greyson got some pretty amusing close encounters with some of the critters there.  Go figure, though - his favorite animals of the trip?  The cats wandering around the barns.  He gets to play with our two furry beasts every day, and he latches onto the cats on the farm.  There was even one sweet little white cat that took it upon itself to follow Grey around for a bit.  =)

Anyhow, I think there were two highlights to our day - or at least two moments where I laughed so hard, I thought for SURE I'd never recover.  First, we visited this fella:

Greyson walked up and stood *right* next to the fence surrounding the horse's enclosure, looking at his SHOES for some reason... when the horse wandered on over, leaned its head on over and DOWN to the top of Grey's unsuspecting head.  Only when he felt the horse BREATHING into his hair did he look up... and came eye-to-nostril with our beloved white beauty!!!  Needless to say, he let out a little yelp and scampered away from the fence - then quickly turning down the offer to be lifted up to pet his new "buddy."  Heh.  All he wanted was a little love!!!  So, Mommy gave in a lent the big brown-eyed sap some petting.  =)

A short time later, we happened upon this little guy:

He came trotting right over the second we got close to his enclosure, and I made a comment to Grey about how he wanted to say "Hi" to him.  So, Greyson walked up to the fence and put his face nice and close to get a better look... when the goat nudged its nose right up on the other side, and quickly stuck its tongue out to give Greyson a kiss!  =)  Priceless.  He certainly was an animal magnet there at Lamb's Farm!!

Here are a few of the other critters we got to see while there:

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get a picture of the THAT Llama's buddy - the llama we affectionately dubbed "Phyllis Diller" because it had this INCREDIBLY awkward mass of hair atop its head that looked like a BAD excuse for a wig... and made us immediately think of the animal's new namesake.  She just kinda hung out on the sidelines and watched as the one in the photo persistently nudged its head into our faces BEGGING for a little bit of our family LURVE.  =P

All in all, it turned out to be a pretty good, DEFINITELY autumn day.  Who knew that it could go from 80 to 52 in less than a week's time?!  (DUH, anyone who's lived in Chicago for more than 6 months, that's who!  Heh.)

Ouch.

Well, I managed to survive my initial consultation at the Pain Clinic.  Barely.

After being poked, prodded, stretched, reflexed, etc. for 30 minutes, I got a few tidbits of information and an appointment to come back on October 15th for a full-team assessment.

Here's the new CRAP:

1-  I apparently have mild scoliosis, which either has gone completely undetected until now, or is a new development.  The curve is in my mid-back, around the thoracic/lumbar transition.

2-  It really looks like I'm going to wind up with a Fibromyalgia diagnosis, as the doctor tested  ALL of the pressure points associated with the disorder - and every single one HURT.  Some of them still do, 14 hours later.

3-  I *still* have to go back to Lake County Mental Health (or find another provider) for long-term depression/anxiety care, because while they DO have psychologists, there isn't a SPECIFIC pyschiatry aspect like I was told when referred to them.  UGH.

Aside from those little nuggets of joy, I still need to find a new general practitioner that is more competent of handling my condition (which shouldn't be TOO hard, compared to the last physician I saw after my ER visit), because after being *manipulated* in every which direction during the visit - I still left with no medication.  *sigh*

So, I have a MASSIVE to-do list in regards to doctors on Monday, since I have to find a GP, make ANOTHER damned appointment at LCMH or find another provider, make an OB/GYN appointment (that I'm already months late on!)... and when that is all said and done, I'm going to try and make an appointment for Grey for a dentist, because he has a tiny cavity in one of his molars (even though the child is ADDICTED to brushing his teeth!) that I want to catch before it gets worse.  Plus, I want to check on the fact that he has a *slight* overbite - which I can pretty much attribute (in my mind, anyways) to the fact that he is a stubborn little Scorpio and *still* uses his "Binka" for nap and bedtime.  *sigh*

So, I've got a pretty full plate!  Luckily, we are planning on making our trip down to the Shedd Aquarium on Tuesday, since we missed out 2 weeks ago because of all the massive flooding and, of course, OTHER drama.  Heh.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

One of the TOTAL upsides to today was the fact that I won a $25 gift card for Build-a-Bear from Angela over at Fluid Pudding!  Which means that in addition to the Nintendo DS that Crystal sent him, Greyson can *still* manage to have some pretty killer birthday presents, despite our TOTAL financial disaster status.  *clapping*

Of course, that hasn't kept him from asking for everything.he.sees.on.tv.oh.my.GOD.  I'm about to either un-plug the damn thing or only allow him to watch movies until Christmas, because hello?  Could they put any MORE advertisements geared towards children out right now?!?  It's gotten to the point where he'll anounce that he wants THAT movie during a DVD-release commercial... even if his answer is "I don't know" when we ask him the name of the movie.  *shrug*  He's a media FANATIC... don't know WHERE that came from...*snort*... couldn't be from his FATHER who bestowed his Mini-Blockbuster on me when we got together.  No, not at all.  I think Greyson himself owns somewhere upwards of 30 DVDs.  Eek!

Unfortunately, it's looking like we're going to have to scrap our plans for his big Pirate Party for the little guy's birthday in November, though.  It's just going to cost WAY too much in relation to everything going on right now, and with who knows WHAT kind of treatment schedule I will have with this whole Pain-Clinic ordeal, I more than likely won't have the time to accomplish everything that I had set out to do for the entire thing.

Of course, now I'm left scratching my head as to what TO do for his birthday.  We *totally* didn't do ANYTHING last year, because we MOVED a couple weeks before, and it was just all too chaotic - so I feel I am indebtted to give SOME sort of a damn about the celebratory aspect of it this year.  Heh.

Any suggestions outside of the "Chuck E. Cheese" standard?  I'd like to avoid that if possible, and not do anything as massively migraine-inducing as that for a group of 2-5 year olds.  Ack, the sheer *thought* of it makes my skin crawl.

Plus, C'MON!  The one by us doesn't even have the HUGE tunnelly thing OR a ball pit.  What a ripoff!  LOL

SO - that's life as it stands right now.  Still no job for the hubs, but unemployment is supposed to kick in on Monday.  No pain relief for me YET... but here's to hope?!?  And Greyson... well, he spent a good portion of the evening listening to Iron Maiden while he headbanged and sang along CORRECTLY to almost every song he heard.  Yep... he's definitely got some GOOD taste in music.  ;)

What WERE they thinking?!?

A have a *very* limited number of TV shows that I try to (or MAKE SURE to) always watch: House, Bones, Paranormal State, Intervention, and ER.



And the ER Season Premiere was on tonight.



Ummm, can I just say WHAT THE FUCK?!?



I was nearly in tears at MANY points in this episode, as it SO should have been the FINALE and not the premiere for this, the VERY last season.



(Spoilers below!!!)



They killed Pratt. Pratt, who has been CRUCIAL to the series for SUCH a long time now. Who has built SUCH a character. Who had an ENGAGEMENT RING in his pocket the day he DIED. What. the. hell. people.



So, I'm left wondering, did something happen with contracts during the season break? Is THIS why Pratt's death was left as the season opener? Or are they planning on making every. single. episode. emotionally trying as a closer to the show's long run??



Honestly, on top of being rather saddened at the loss of Pratt's character... I was also pissed. I mean, who DOES that?



Speaking of which... hello House fans? Anyone ELSE just a bit perturbed about Wilson leaving on the FIRST episode of the season?! Just sayin. I really wasn't expecting the REASON he left to be the actual REASON - OUCH.



As it stands, I now have a STRONGER desire to reassure myself to pay attention to ER this year. I'm seriously left wondering WHAT they can do next. Hmph.

Hmmm...

So, I'm a *little* frightened. Apparently, Red Bull is releasing a COLA product, that is made with all-natural ingredients. COULD be a good thing, right?

As long as it doesn't have the "I poured some Pepto Bismol into this Mountain Dew" kinda taste behind it like Red Bull does.

Ugh, just thinking about the SMELL of that stuff alone makes my insides twitch... Of course, that has never stopped me from slamming a Jager Bomb, though... just gotta drink it before I can think about what HALF of it is comprised of... *gulp* Blah.