Anxious...

And not the good kind, either.

I have about an hour before I head out the door to my *newest* doctor's appointment - to try and replace the last GP I visited, the one that never even looked me in the eye, examined my back, asked me about the 'quality' of pain; NOTHING.  Other than refusal to treat me with anything beyond Ibuprofen.  Nice.

Obviously, pretty much ANYTHING will be better than seeing him again.  But in my current state, I am always left with a least a *touch* of anxiety over whether or not the good doctor will take me seriously, or even do their job in being thorough and actually treating me to the best of their ability.

As it stands, I have been without any form of pain management for almost a month now, beyond that Ibuprofen (that might as well be a Flintstones vitamin), and I *still* don't know what or when I will be getting treatment-wise from the pain clinic, as my full-scale evaluation isn't for another week and a half.  After that comes a full-team conference, and THEN, treatment begins.  So we may be looking at November.

I can't go solo until November.  Not if I want to be a fully-functioning Mommy.  *sigh*

So, a new doctor will be seeing me - with previous prescriptions in hand to prove that yes, I have INDEED been given these medications and that I am not on a farfetched trip to try and gain something I don't medically need.  At this point, with all that I have been treated with, I cannot even think of a single medication that would prove to be what some out there seek to 'get high.'  I haven't even been made SLEEPY by anything I have ben prescribed, so beyond that?  I can't even imagine what it would take.  Then again, I also can't imagine WANTING to be placed in that physical and mental state... Anyhow...

I'm hoping to come home pleasantly surprised.  I'm hoping to come home with some form of support to at least get me through to my *alternative treatments* from the pain clinic.

I'm hoping to come home with some semblance of normalcy.

Here's to hope!