Thursday, September 11, 2008

To End My Day of F'ing Days

Yes, I know, it's technically tomorrow already.  But ya know, that's the way it tends to go here in MMM Land.

It's currently 1:10am as I type this sentence and Greyson has only been asleep for...... wait for it...... 8 minutes.

Yes, my friends, he, for the SECOND NIGHT IN A ROW, has managed to hit the 1am mark without a nod-off.  However, today... he didn't even take a *NAP*.  Nothing.  He was even WOKEN UP this morning by the phone call that prompted the gathering of myself and my parents communally to speak with the doctor in charge of my grandmother's care at around 10:15 this morning.

So, if anyone needs, I mean REALLY desperately needs to be kept awake for an all-nighter, say you're studying for mid-terms, or you just have some sick, twisted desire to know what it's like to be me and function on 20 hours (or less!) of sleep a WEEK!??  CALL ME.  I will be right on over with the Amazing Autonomous Child, that apparently would rather make his mother *cry* out of sheer frustration that, gasp! go to SLEEP after a solid 14 hours of wakefulness.

He uses EVERY excuse in the book. 
*I'm hungry (if you were SLEEPING like you SHOULD be, this wouldn't be an issue!).
*I'm thirsty (see answer above - still applicable here).
*I had a bad dream (When?!  While you BLINKED??!!?).
*I can't sleep on this pillow (or apparently any OTHER pillow besides the one MOMMY is currently using... oh wait, that one's not good either).
*I'm hot (we're in the basement, and you're wearing a tee and shorts... with no blanket).
*I'm cold (at this point, while covered with *3* friggin COMFORTERS).

I'm at my wits end.  Not only do I have insomnia ALL ON MY OWN... but the nights I think that I may *actually* have a chance at dozing off for a bit... he pulls one of THESE out of his back pocket.

He's only TWO.  Shouldn't he still be needing, like, 13-14 hours of sleep per DAY?  I mean, on a GOOD DAY, he gets about 11, counting nap time... on the rare occassions I can even GET a nap out of him anymore.  If he DOES nap, it's usually LATE after he's proven himself to be WAYYYY too crabby to function on anywhere resembling a *normal* level, and he passes out.  Seriously.  We'll be all, "Where's Greyson?" - and find him crashed, face-down, in the bedroom at like, 5 or 6pm.  Even THEN... I only let him sleep for about 30 minutes, and just deal with the tirade that typically ensues upon trying to roust this madman out of an apparent sleep-coma.

Do they make Ambien for kids???  I mean, I know it didn't help me, but C'MON NOW, Momma needs at least a SMALL grasp on what's left of her sanity!!


On the upside of things... I did manage to catch a couple episodes of Criss Angel.  Mmm.  AND, who would have thought, one of the assistants for his finale stunt on the show *almost* outdid him on the "Hotness Scale."  Too bad he was a professional rodeo rider / bullfighter... pretty to look at, but you just KNOW he's gotta be rattling between the ears every time he takes a good, hard step.  Shame.

I hope, at the close of the day, you can all say that yours was better than mine.  Because right now, and I am FREELY admitting this... I am *so* looking forward to the appointment I booked for myself with a shrink in 10 days.  I'm almost envisioning it as a vacation...  yuck.

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