Well, MetalliDad got to come home today, and with a 5-day vacation to boot, since Monday is a holiday. He's on some antibiotics, but all seems to be going well.
I returned the blue hunk o' junk, and came strolling out with this instead:
I'm happy, MetalliDad's happy (even though I told him HANDS OFF!), and I feel much better about this purchase.
So, let's hope that the rest of the week goes better than it HAS been until now...