The tears are falling harder now...

Earlier this evening, my dad got a call from his "baby" sister... who had just left the hospital where my grandma is in FL.  Apparently, things have gone from bad to worse, as where we were intially told she'd need kidney dialysis... she is in complete renal failure, has a large mass in one of her lungs, and she is sedated and on a ventilator.

We are waiting to hear from her doctor, because *someone* has decided that since my dad is the oldest of her 5 children... HE should make the final decisions.  As to what happens in Florida.  From Illinois.  While bedridden himself.

As much as I *can* understand this choice... I am also once again astounded by my uncles' opinions and attitudes towards their mother.  Honestly, every memory I have of her is filled with smiles and love... and whereas I'm sure, like in all families, their relationship with her was never all lollipops and rainbows, it pretty much comes down to the fact that they don't care what happens.  I can't wrap a single piece of me around that.  For all it's worth, the woman has called me "Angel" from my very first memories...  she'd even send birthday and Christmas cards addressed with that name.  She was, is, and always will be my Mamaw.

If I could snatch up Greyson and head to the airport RIGHT NOW, I would.  Even if it were just to have a few minutes with her.  But, I can't even CALL her in the hospital because of her being ventilated.

My biggest hope is that maybe we can get the address of her hospital, along with the room number... so that maybe, just maybe... I can get some recent pictures of her "Angel's Angel" before she goes.

I wish I knew when that would be.

Or maybe I really, REALLY, don't.

Oh goddamn, I DO wish I had no clue... because more than likely that would mean it wasn't anytime soon.

Just do me a favor... hold your loved ones a little closer tonight.