If I could bottle this pain, I would be able to make someone else VERY uncomfortable

Wow. So. I still have not slept... and at THIS point in time, why bother to try? The little man will be awake somewhere in the VERY near future, and I'm also still not convinced that I could get comfortable enough to sleep anyhow.

Why am I so uncomfortable?

To start with, I had a BAD back injury a year ago. Hmm, yes... actually just about EXACTLY a year ago. I tried to pick up the Munchkin at an odd angle when he decided to wedge himself between the computer desk and the wall... and was only able to stand back *up* with him to a 45 degree angle. I bet it was a pretty interesting sight to see my then turn on my heels with a toddler in my grasp, lower him to the floor using ONLY my arms, and then proceed to kneel and fall sideways to the livingroom floor.

I then spent the next 15 minutes in AGONIZING pain, trying to convince that same 19 month old that yes, you really CAN climb up on the computer chair and then ONTO the desk to retrieve the cordless phone for Mommy. Oh, yeah... that was the *greatest* part, by the way... The Dad was at work at the time, so I was stuck at home, immobile, with a rampant toddler.

Thankfully, the most destructive thing he did was help himself to a few DVD's knowing Mommy couldn't stop him. On the other hand, he DID bring me his oversized stuffed duck as a peace offering to place under my head. Such a compassionate boy, even then.

Anyhow, I was diagnosed with a severe lower back sprain and a slipped disc. Off I was sent with pain meds... of course which may as well have been Flintstones vitamins for all the good they did me. System says FAIL.

Fast forward to a year later, and I have now developed acute sacroiliac joint disorder as well as a general fuckuppance of my lower spine. I have random and frequent spasms of pretty much every muscle that has anything to do with my back functioning, mainly on the right side, and at times become "lopsided" - my right hip sits higher than my left, with some MASSIVE swelling around the lower back on the right.

Exciting, eh?

I have tried, oh, maybe 7-8 different pain meds, and just as many muscle relaxants. I have endured injections of anesthetic and steroids INTO MY SPINE AND SI JOINT. The result?

Still have pain. The best part? NONE OF THE MEDICINE HELPED ME SLEEP! Insomnia - 1, Larissa - ZERO.

Last night, I was stepping over the "baby" gate in the bedroom doorway (We don't have a door. Don't ask - LOL) and Greyson chose that EXACT point in time to move *directly* into the path that I was about to step into with my right leg. My immediate reaction was to, DUH, move my leg to step elsewhere. The problem with this was that... hmm, someone seems to have placed a DOORFRAME in the way of my KNEE.

Yep. It's REAAAAAL pretty. My right kneecap (points for me on THAT one - it's the SAME side as the majority of my back issues) has two parallel, vertical cuts on it from slamming into the edge of the frame so damned hard, and a *gorgeous* bruise surrounding both and spreading further down my knee.

Yep. I had to bite my tongue REAL hard not to let loose a very LARGE stream of wildly inappropriate words directly in the face of my bewildered son, who could do nothing but ask me if I was okay like a broken record. He means well, he really does. =)

So, I am a truly GLORIFIED gimp today, and am just WAY too damned uncomfortable to even fathom a decent position to sleep in. Of course, I am pretty much guaranteed to pass out at SOME point in time today, if only for an hour or two... I just hope I can survive long enough to have it happen *at* naptime. Ugh.

BTW, anyone have any *wicked* pain relief suggestions? Or maybe something along the lines of a phone call from Ghandi's dog kinda remedy for insomnia???? Just wondering.